We got the all clear to leave two weeks later and had Minnesota on the line.
Kelli was Excited by the time the two weeks were up she had remembered loving Minnesota. We would continue therapy at a hospital in Minneapolis. I was out of a wheelchair now but still needed to rest occasionally. Kelli’s memory was coming back in trickles. She remembered most of high school, but she still didn’t remember the love we shared, I felt as If I were to touch her she would be reminded but I didn’t want to push anything so I stayed with my love, waiting for the day she remembered us.
It was mid-August by the time we were able to walk without much help, both of us. Still, no sign of Kelli’s love. I cried every night. On August 20th we registered for Fall classes at St. Paul College. Our family had brought our frozen lemonade truck to us, and we had been working it all summer between therapy sessions, it wasn’t easy, but it was fun regardless.
By September classes were underway, and eventually, Kelli and I had just become roommates, She found another lover, A man… His name was Dumbass… I mean.. Dumas, named after an old country song. He was ok, made my Kelli happy, and that’s all I could ever ask for. I stayed single, still hoping to be remembered, we were very close friends, and roommates, we lived well together and I could feel the spark, but she always brushed it off as our unbreakable lifelong bond.
“Zara, you are like my sister.” She would say, giggle then, run to Dumbass and hang all over him. The display made me sick, turned my stomach in knots, and made me cry… I went to bed alone every night. I cried a lot, this was far worse than a break-up. She had no memory of our love. I had them all.
It was driving me crazy. By November 13th, I was seeking alternative methods of feeling the same high I felt with Kelli. I fell into the arms of heroin. I didn’t “get addicted” to it, I didn’t need it all the time, I didn’t go through withdrawals or anything, if I didn’t have for it a while. I enjoyed the high, once a week, I masturbated to memories, and came. No one even knew, except my dealer, of course. She was hot and had it bad for me. But I couldn’t bring myself to be with her, or even look at her.
Kelli Got engaged to Dumbass on Christmas Eve.
They went to his parents’ house for the night to celebrate.
I got high alone, in our little home. I rode the high both of drugs and of pleasure, multiple times. I would ride the high, let it start to fade, and then do it again.
Eventually I felt tired, I laid in Kelli’s bed, in a lingerie set she had gotten me last year to wear just before our accident. The world became cloudy, Once more I rode the twin highs, and I fell asleep.